Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Nonstop Chops

I was at work the other night waiting for my last customer to finish eating. He was by himself and didn't seem to be in a hurry, but I was, I had Christmas shopping to do.
Finally I asked him if he was done, "Yes, now I would like a cup of coffee."
Crap.
He was licking his chops over and over, raving about the food, and I think because I was tired and just wanted to go, he started to look like my clan of cats after they finish eating, and because he was stalling I almost asked him how he enjoyed his cat food.
I know, that doesn't sound nice, but it was only a passing thought.

Once I did get home, I still felt like I was at work. Only now, I had to serve my cats, and by the way, the only tip they leave is fur on my clothes or a coughed up hairball.
They were starving.
"Sorry I'm late kitties, but I had a customer who might have been related to all of you."

I decided to time their after dinner chop session - approximately four minutes.
I told you before I need to get a life.
But I did find that time frame interesting. It was shorter than my customer.

Cats by nature are clean freaks, so in a sense, they are brushing their teeth after meals, it's not because the food I serve them is prepared by America's top chef.
Their nonstop chops after eating is justified.
They can't use napkins, and I don't expect them to use toothpaste and a toothbrush, like my vet once told me to do for April. She even demonstrated on my cat, who by the way froze in the vet's hands, as if suddenly the temperature dropped 20 degrees below zero.
"See, you just lift up her mouth and get right into her gum area."
Really?
"Would you like to be my personal dentist and stop by my house every day to brush her teeth, because if I did that, I'd have to go to ER for third degree scratches."

My cats sometimes wash each other after meals, except April, she'll have no part in that nonsense.
I tell her "no man is an island," well, in her case, "no cat is an island," but she walks away, and yaps she's the exception to that quote.
Jake, who seems to 'brush' longer than the others, I think does so because he was homeless before I took him in, and instinctively, cats in the wild clean themselves after eating to wash away the scent of food - it's their way to keep predators away, and I must say, for Jake, that is a great trait to have - food is his alone.

What's the point of this issue? Probably nothing.
Blame it on my customer.