Thursday, December 2, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me

Nothing like waking up on your birthday and stepping in hairball puke.
Nothing wakes you up quicker.
It was either Pierre or April who left me the birthday present...
so it turns out that noise I heard in my dream wasn't the gigantic
raindrops plopping down on my head,
it was the gigantic hairball one of them was coughing up as I was in la-la land.

Pierre and April are laughing at me as they watch from the couch.
April yawns like it's no big deal and Pierre decides to wash his face.
"Walk over here and clean this too while you're at it."

I hop in the shower, hop out and wipe up the mess.
They walk around me sniffing the spot like they're working on a cold case.
I grab the Woolite heavy duty rug spray,
but I'm so tired I aim the spray can at both of them instead of the stain,
nothing came out except a swish sound, but they flip backwards anyway
and squint their eyes.
"Oh S---!  I am so sorry, are you both OK?"
I run towards them and they run under the table as if I'm going to spray them again.
"Hey, come on, I just want to see if you're okay."

This is NOT what I want to be doing at 6 in the morning.

I get on my knees and make a cat smacking sound.
Pierre hisses at me. Then April hisses at Pierre, then they both whack each
other for a good 5 seconds, stop suddenly, ears flat, and make these 'low battery'
growling noises at each other, tails hitting the floor like a hard wind.

All this over puke.

"OK, looks like you're both back to normal, I'm going downstairs to have my coffee."

I walk into the kitchen, and find Jake and Mr. C fixated on a flimsy kitchen rug in front of the sink.
A botched cover-up boys.

I slowly unravel the bungled work of Jake and Mr. C, and therein lies yet another present: hairball puke.

Happy Birthday To Me.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

My cats and mom

The morning my mother passed away, it rained for the first time in months.
That night, thunder rolled and lightning filled the sky.
My cats scattered, the house was quiet.

I found Mickey cuddled on her bed, on her housecoat, still bunched up
near her pillow from the frantic night in April when I called the paramedics.
Mickey has never once gone in her room when she was here,
it was off limits to all the cats. Mom would joke about how she didn't want them to take
her jewelry or read her memos.

The next morning, I found Midnight on her bed, sound asleep,
then April. It was as if they were taking turns grieving for mom.
Pierre was the most restless. He wouldn't relax, kept walking by her room,
meowing. I even took him to the vet recently to make sure nothing was wrong,
but when I told the vet about mom, she said his restlessness is his broken heart.
Jake and Mr. C now sleep by her empty chair.

They have never been this quiet.

I'm sure in the upcoming weeks and months they will be romping around again, causing all kinds of chaos, because after all, my cats have major problems, and I know sooner or later, I'm going to be romping along with them, weeding through their issues....but for now, they are in mourning,
and I feel comforted knowing they are here with me, and that they loved mom and miss her just as much as I do.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Mr. C and Mom

I found Mr. C by mom's chair this morning. I think he misses her.
She's been in the hospital for over 2 months, and Mr. C knows
she's not around. He stands by her bedroom door and meows, as if crying.
then he walks into the kitchen and stands there for a long time like he lost his way.
There were many nights I would come home from work and find my mother
in her favorite chair watching TV, and Mr. C right there next to her. She would joke and
say her and "grandpa" just ate a snack and are getting ready to watch Larry King.

Just like my mom, Mr. C is up there in age.
He walks slower now, eats slower, and just doesn't feel
like playing anymore with the younger cats, especially Mickey, the youngest,
who is always tackling him ready to play a hard game of football.

I don't know when my mother will be home. She has a long road ahead of her.
Health is wealth. Even for cats. When any of them get sick, no matter what I do,
no matter what treats I offer them, they just don't want to be bothered until they're
feeling better.

I told mom today when I visited her that she has to get better and come home...
that Mr. C is waiting for her by her chair. I wanted her to say something like tell
"grandpa" I'll be home soon, or I miss him too, but she just looked at me and smiled.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My Cats Have Issues! / Introduction

Say these names really fast 10 times.
Ready? Go!

Mr. C., Jake, Pierre, Mickey, Midnight, April.

Forget it, my cats don't care if you get it right or not.
They're too busy with their own personal issues,
and issues with each other.

Dr. Seuss once said:
"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells."

Well, if you need a cup of nonsense to get those
brain cells going, then follow me on my weekly blog
starting Thursday, April 1st, as their issues become
my issues, and my home miraculously transforms into a stage
to play out all this daily drama.

Follow my link @ http://www.mycatshaveissues.com